Why Online Counselling Sessions?

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  • It is economical. Using this service will save you time and money and gives you the convenience of a schedule that suits your needs (you can write to us at night, for example).
  • There is more anonymity, if that is what you want.
  • You do not have to leave your home or office.
  • You avoid travelling, driving, parking hassles, and sitting in traffic!
  • You may initially want a little distance and private space in the counselling relationship.
  • You may live in a remote area where therapists are not available.
  • You may not have found this kind of service, with this kind of orientation, in your country.
  • You may be thinking about entering traditional person-to-person counselling, but want to get a sense of what it might be like first.
  • You may want more time to prepare answers to the counsellor’s questions in your own way, and as your schedule allows by using e-mail.
  • You may want to retain a written record of insights as they emerge during counselling by using e-mail.

For rates and to receive more information, visit us at http://www.changematterscounselling.com/

Hello world!

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Welcome to our blog! We have launched… “One small leap for Change Matters, one giant step into cyberspace!” Please fasten your seat belts and leave your baggage behind as we jump right through the rabbit hole and head for the stars!

What can you expect from this blog? The story behind the story – for those of you who know us, it is the backstory of how two therapists met, helped each other, and began to help other people. Freebies, tips, encouragement, articles and services – everything you need to know to get your change process started, and to keep it humming. A chance to talk to us, say what you think, and get input. All online.

Principles of Change: 10

Principle no 10: It may not look like much on the outside

We discourage people from making great big dramatic gestures as they start their change process (the impulse is often there – I need to chuck in my job! Leave my partner). This is because the change process is much more subtle, and deeper, than that kind of external change. Also, it is surprising (leads to new and unforeseen avenues). Secondly, be aware that you will feel very different on the inside, and the way your life goes will be very different, but others looking at you may not notice anything dramatic. This is not plastic surgery. They may well notice that you are serene and content and that drama and chaos no longer hang about you. This is not to say that challenges won’t come up anymore (they will – they are opportunities to get uncomfortable so that you can tap into alternatives) – the process continues.

We hope you have enjoyed this “taster” of how a (your) change process can work.

Contact us to continue the journey.

 

 

 

The Principles of Change: 9

Principle no 9: The goal is to uncover Authentic Self functioning

This is the purpose of the quest for Self-discovery. It means that you stop functioning from a place of fear, blame, scarcity beliefs, and from a story of woundedness, less-than, guilt, criticism and anger. You discover freedom in letting go of that mantle and, dare we say it, enlightenment (lightening) occurs. True purpose comes to the fore as you discover a comfortable, happy, exciting place from which to live your life. Live the life you imagined you would be living!

The Principles of Change: 8

Principle no 8: The beginning is Awareness.

It’s taken the Doc a while to get to writing about this one (for avid followers of our blog, please excuse the delay). Why, I ask myself? Well, it takes a bit of thinking about. And has been a pertinent issue for me over the past while (not accidentally, I presume).

Our recovery begins with Awareness. Awareness that we are creating our own difficulties, awareness that we need to make other choices, awareness that we are blaming others but not meeting our own eyes in the mirror, awareness that we have tried all ways, and none of them have worked, and that we are stuck, needing help, and ready.

Then, during the recovery process we are encouraged to hone our awareness: pay attention. To what is going on inside you, to what you feel, to what you want. Notice your triggers. Notice what other people are doing. Take a breath. Decide how you want to respond.

Awareness is offered as an alternative to action sometimes. Observe, watch, be the Witness, hold it. Look it in the eye. See what it is doing to you, and how it wants you to react (your old Saboteur, that is).

Remember that it’s all about you (even when others are behaving in less than desirable ways) – turn your eyes inwards, look at what you are being taught, take the lesson, make the change.

“You experience pain until you are willing to be different. Being teachable is when you have tried everything you know how and then are willing to stop doing and start being love.”

By which we mean, self-love is at the bottom of such action (or non-action), and that it puts you in touch with universal love. It is the path of the heart.

(With thanks to the White Rabbit for adding clarity.)

Read more about how all this can work for you.

 

The Principles of Change: 7

Principle no 7: Self-love is the answer

Louise Hay says, if you love yourself as much as you can everything in your life works. It can be quite tricky to unpack what self-love means and looks like to you (everyone is different). A good place to start is noticing how you feel (often, what your body is saying) while you are engaged in various activities throughout the day. So, you may come to notice that you sigh a lot whenever you answer your e-mails (realising, this drains me and makes me unhappy) or you notice that you clench your buttocks in social situations, leading to lower backache (realising, you are anxious and need to ask for help in that moment to shine as your authentic self).

Read more about what we have to offer – all over the world.

The Principles of Change: 6

Principle no 6: Ask yourself what your intention is

This is a very practical one, and very very useful. We often have an impulse to do something that can be linked to an old habit – for example, sending off a particular kind of sms to a particular person in our lives. When you inquire of yourself “What is my intention?” you may be surprised to realise you are wanting to elicit a particular response from someone (control), or make yourself feel better (this is the opposite of holding and having your feelings, it is a purge). At Change Matters we like to talk about comforting your discomfort which is where you hold back from old automatic habits like controlling the situation/the other and discharging difficult feelings. So you might choose to take a walk, save the sms to drafts, or stay with yourself in some other way.

One frequently needs help and support in this process. Contact us.