Free Resources

Rolled Coconut Koeksisters

On the Easter Weekend Change Matters went to Uitenhage to visit a friend who comes from a large family and a different cultural background. The kitchen seemed the perfect meeting place to exchange news, views and a way to integrate who you are with the […]

The Movie Series

The Movie Series (in which we use powerful metaphors from our favourite films to guide you)

Love Is Enough

Love Is Enough: On Relationships (A Traveller’s Guide)

Miranda’s Journey

Miranda’s Journey and Top Five Tips for Overcoming Problems In Your Life

How Does Play Therapy Work?

How Does Play Therapy Work? A Guide for Parents

December 2009

Open letter from a client

As a client, I would like to share my experience. I am hoping that by giving you an example of how these services helped to change my life. I can help you make a link between the ideas on the website and how it actually works in the sessions.

January 2010

As this is the season when everybody seems to either be ‘out of town’ or busy with family, friends and social occasions,

you have gone quiet on us…So we thought we would ask you some questions:

Has anyone used our Food for Thought tip on noticing during this period? If so, how did it help you?

February 2010

Hello Miranda and Jana,

At Christmas I elected to sit at the dinner table with one of my least favourite family members, a man who has in the past caused a lot of conflict and hurt. I decided to tune in to what was happening with me. I noticed how I was sweating, but smiling, how I wanted to jump in and “save” him when he didn’t reach out conversationally to me, and how I felt confused at his niceness, when I have so often seen him being cruel. I noticed I left feeling relieved. What I take away from this is: I realised I do not enjoy being around him, that it reminds me of other situations when I was little and not having a good time, but couldn’t leave. These days I can leave. And I don’t have to make him feel comfortable, or cover up for his deficiencies. So if I choose to be there again next year, I am choosing to sweat!

PI (Private Investigator!)

March 2010

This month a client comments on her process.She has found the Chatbox (that is, your input on this site) “interesting and encouraging” and says:

I am talking to myself in a more positive fashion and acknowledging that I have a choice as to how I think in that if I follow a non-constructive way of thinking it will lead me to an empty place that can cause a lot of negative emotions. I don’t want that! However, I am trying to balance (this with) the art of recognising when I am “allowed” to feel certain emotions when dealing with certain situations.

Random reflections by Carol

Step One: we admitted that we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
The What if’s… and if only’s
If only you would…
If only you would change.
If only you would try to see things from my point of view.
If only you would love me,
more, less, differently, candidly.
If only you could understand that the way you behave, things you say and do, they drive me crazy!
If only you would try harder.