Hello Miranda and Jana,
At Christmas I elected to sit at the dinner table with one of my least favourite family members, a man who has in the past caused a lot of conflict and hurt. I decided to tune in to what was happening with me. I noticed how I was sweating, but smiling, how I wanted to jump in and “save” him when he didn’t reach out conversationally to me, and how I felt confused at his niceness, when I have so often seen him being cruel. I noticed I left feeling relieved. What I take away from this is: I realised I do not enjoy being around him, that it reminds me of other situations when I was little and not having a good time, but couldn’t leave. These days I can leave. And I don’t have to make him feel comfortable, or cover up for his deficiencies. So if I choose to be there again next year, I am choosing to sweat!
PI (Private Investigator!)