Dr Hollywood says:
The Journey by Brandon Bays, a book we enjoy and can really recommend, does a marvellous description of what TRUST entails – and how it is such an important part of the healing process. From the Doctor’s point of view, most problems to do with anxiety, insecurity, jealousy and dis-ease in adult relationships stem from a childhood problem with TRUST. We had an early experience in which the environment was not trustworthy in some way, and so we developed a sort of schema whereby the world is not to be trusted. Instead, the schema goes, you must rely on yourself 100% , plan things meticulously, and make sure everything always goes just the way you want it – you can see how problems with control, including controlling other people, arise. Did you know that compliance is just another form of control? Because you manipulate outcome with kindness.
The mentor is very important in the hero’s journey, and may take the form of someone like Miranda (an earthly guide). Early on, Jana joked that Miranda reminded her of The Oracle in The Matrix (for those of you who haven’t seen the movie, The Oracle is an auntie who bakes cookies…see pic above) In an e-mail, Miranda wrote:
“As I have said to you before I am still on my journey – as in the 12 step programme you can sponsor someone if you have done the work that they are needing to do – in other words you are only one step ahead that’s all – this concept sits right with me – I am not an ORACLE I am a CORACLE – noun, a small boat of wickerwork covered with watertight material used in Welsh and Irish lakes and rivers – comes from the
Gaelic word CURRACH meaning boat.
This word sits better with me if you don’t mind – it links to my Irish roots and I believe it describes what I do – I take people to the other side of a river (be it an underworld river in which case I protect them from falling asleep by keeping them aware or a topside river where I provide basic oars/tools for moving through something) – I also provide them with the means to be safe whilst they fish into the depths of the lake (Subconscious) – I also like the idea that the frame of the boat is wickerwork – Wicca work – old matriarchal mother earth stuff.
So there you have it.
In the meantime keep on doing what you are doing.”
At Change Matters we believe that an earthly guide is not enough however, because we discourage the outward-seeking, affirmation-seeking gaze that is one of the pitfalls of co-dependence. The 12 step programme, which advocates designing and entrusting a personal Higher Power, is so successful because it advocates “turning inwards” to a connection with the transpersonal/universal. Psychologically speaking, the wounded, self-reliant inner child has a chance to entrust herself to something greater than herself again, only it is not an imperfect mortal this time around, therefore she cannot be failed.
Dr Hollywood cites Joseph Campbell:
“The hero’s journey is one of the universal patterns through which radiance shows brightly. What I think is that a good life is one hero journey after another. Over and over again, you are called to the realm of adventure, you are called to new horizons. Each time, there is the same problem: do I dare? And then if you do dare, the dangers are there, and the help also, and the fulﬁlment or the ﬁasco. There’s always the possibility of a ﬁasco. But there’s also the possibility of bliss.”
Do you dare?
If so, why not contact us.
Chek out testimonials from people we have helped.