Feelings in Process

 I feel let down, betrayed, cheated, disappointed,
guilt, shame, anger, self-righteous, disempowered, fear,
grief, loss, sad, isolated, abandoned, small, worthless,
helpless, hopeless, not good enough, stupid, depressed,
resentful, frustrated and sometimes darn-right murderous.

I am caught in this net made by my own hand
I gasp to breathe free
As I flap about the shoreline between no-man’s land
Of the conscious beach and the subconscious sea

I have tried to make a stand and address this matter before
In fact so much so that I fear I’m becoming a bore
I have constantly spoken and expressed myself clearly
Now I find myself flip-flopping in silence incoherently.

Taking responsibility for the choices
I have made is supposed to set me free
Of resentment and bring in contentment
But this is not happening as you can see

I feel I’ve been had and I feel I’m being played
But most of all I feel I have been betrayed

For each time I wriggle and jiggle with all my might
I find myself being bound again and again ever so tight
What to do? What to do? I pathetically mew
As I slide in the sludge holding onto my grudge

Eliza Burke