Ask the White Rabbit

December 2009

Open letter from a client

As a client, I would like to share my experience. I am hoping that by giving you an example of how these services helped to change my life. I can help you make a link between the ideas on the website and how it actually works in the sessions.

January 2010

As this is the season when everybody seems to either be ‘out of town’ or busy with family, friends and social occasions,

you have gone quiet on us…So we thought we would ask you some questions:

Has anyone used our Food for Thought tip on noticing during this period? If so, how did it help you?

February 2010

Hello Miranda and Jana,

At Christmas I elected to sit at the dinner table with one of my least favourite family members, a man who has in the past caused a lot of conflict and hurt. I decided to tune in to what was happening with me. I noticed how I was sweating, but smiling, how I wanted to jump in and “save” him when he didn’t reach out conversationally to me, and how I felt confused at his niceness, when I have so often seen him being cruel. I noticed I left feeling relieved. What I take away from this is: I realised I do not enjoy being around him, that it reminds me of other situations when I was little and not having a good time, but couldn’t leave. These days I can leave. And I don’t have to make him feel comfortable, or cover up for his deficiencies. So if I choose to be there again next year, I am choosing to sweat!

PI (Private Investigator!)

March 2010

This month a client comments on her process.She has found the Chatbox (that is, your input on this site) “interesting and encouraging” and says:

I am talking to myself in a more positive fashion and acknowledging that I have a choice as to how I think in that if I follow a non-constructive way of thinking it will lead me to an empty place that can cause a lot of negative emotions. I don’t want that! However, I am trying to balance (this with) the art of recognising when I am “allowed” to feel certain emotions when dealing with certain situations.

Random reflections by Carol

Step One: we admitted that we were powerless over others – that our lives had become unmanageable.
The What if’s… and if only’s
If only you would…
If only you would change.
If only you would try to see things from my point of view.
If only you would love me,
more, less, differently, candidly.
If only you could understand that the way you behave, things you say and do, they drive me crazy!
If only you would try harder.

May 2010


This month a client who is in a 12-Step Programme gives us an insight into how insidious old patterns can be – they even creep into your recovery work! Stargazer talks to us about:  
Triggers, Jumping the Gun and Letting Go

July 2010

Dear Change Matters,

For some time now I have been working on my own personal growth. It has proved most fruitful. I now understand where all my pain originated, how I get triggered and have even managed to use a few tools such as ‘noticing’ and ‘breathing’. Nevertheless, I feel as if I am now treading water. Is this a bad thing?

Treading Water

August 2010


Dear Change Matters

I recently was advised by a close friend to enter into a 12 Step Programme. Yes, there is a history of addiction in my family of origin but I have never had any problems with substance abuse. When I asked why this advise I was told that I come across as if I am ‘walking on eggshells’ and as a result am always trying to control what is happening around me. Yes, I know I try to control things and it has sometimes backfires on me with disastrous results, at times, but I can fix it, so why the recommendation?

Yours sincerely


October/November 2010

Dear White Rabbit,

I feel like I don’t really know who I am or what I want out of life. Is this normal? I am 39 years old. I saw a therapist who says I need to learn how to take care of myself. But I don’t even know how to begin to do this. What did she mean? I was too shy to ask.


Ask the White Rabbit

This is a space where your anonymous comments are given an airing about anything on the site that has worked for you or not, such as the articles, quizzes, recipes, creative writing, visual arts, and the newsletter. If you’ve attended a workshop or small group, […]